Teen suicide

[Queso]

just write!

[J.B]

Yes,many years ago, my dad used abuse my brother and I, and I got tired of it... But that was many years ago! I never told any1 until like last year. Thankyall so much for the advice! I have been treating her just like I always have. She wants to talk to me about it tomorrow.

Is their a way to help people who are extreamly depressed without the help of drugs or a couselor? Again thank yall so much for the help!!

l2l

Nobody wants to die, just that some people are afraid to live.

 

Let go of all that drags you down and live your life the best you can,

 

because one day you will die anyways.

[Racoon]

Is their a way to help people who are extreamly depressed without the help of drugs or a couselor? Again thank yall so much for the help!!

l2l

 

Yes and No;

You Can't change her mind completely.

Just like you couldn't rid me of Drug addiction by yourself; That would really have to be "My Cross to Bear"

By you caring and showing support, IS going to help.:)

 

Focus on Positives; Have some Fun!!! :hihi: ;

Get active!:confused: go for a Hike! Go ride bikes! RollerBlading!,... whatever!

the Exercise will Naturally stimulate Endorphins that will make her feel "Good":)

One of the things about depression is that you don't feel active. Try and change that. Exercise I swear is like the Best and Safest medicine ever!

 

Its not cut and dry. There is a Limit to what you can do. So don't feel guilty that you Can't Cure her! ;)

 

I feel your pain.:cry: If you read my post about my friend Mark....

Life really is too short to think about Death all the time.

[Queso]

it's true.

 

Man whenever i'm depressed I go hiking or rock climbing,

and you know, puff the magic dragon comes along

but hey, imagine if there was a forest I could run around in.

 

It just feels so good to be somewhere you love!

[learnin to learn]

that does make a lot of since! Dont treat her any differntly, but also let know I am there for her.

[learnin to learn]

it's true.

 

Man whenever i'm depressed I go hiking or rock climbing,

and you know, puff the magic dragon comes along

but hey, imagine if there was a forest I could run around in.

 

It just feels so good to be somewhere you love!

When I am depressed I lift weights. I hvave talked to her about when she feels upset or depressed, to do something that she likes or go somewhere that she likes to go. I might bring it up again tomorrow!

[learnin to learn]

Yes and No;

You Can't change her mind completely.

Just like you couldn't rid me of Drug addiction by yourself; That would really have to be "My Cross to Bear"

By you caring and showing support, IS going to help.:)

 

Focus on Positives; Have some Fun!!! :hihi: ;

Get active!:confused: go for a Hike! Go ride bikes! RollerBlading!,... whatever!

the Exercise will Naturally stimulate Endorphins that will make her feel "Good":)

One of the things about depression is that you don't feel active. Try and change that. Exercise I swear is like the Best and Safest medicine ever!

 

Its not cut and dry. There is a Limit to what you can do. So don't feel guilty that you Can't Cure her! ;)

 

I feel your pain.:cry: If you read my post about my friend Mark....

Life really is too short to think about Death all the time.

 

When I first found out I did blame myself for not being strong enough to help her through it. I am sorry bout your friend Mark! Suicide is an awful way to lose some1 you care about! I think my mistake was I thought I could cure her! I thought if I tried hard enough that I could help her! I am going to try to get her out of her house this weekend!

again I thankyall so much for yall's help!!!!!

[Tarantism]

its all about reverting to what you like to do when you are "under the weather" or depressed...sometimes people getg depressed becasue of awkward social situations...or even social situations where they feel left out or unwanted...one just needs to learn that this isunimportant, and that there is always SOMEONE out there who would love to hang out with you. i.e. taking yourself out of a mentally harmful social group and placing oneself in a more accepting social group.

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by learnin to learn

Recently, I found out that a good friend of mine tried to commit suicide. She has already recieved help from a psychiatrist, but she is still extreamly depressed. I am trying to learn all I can about what causes people to want to kill themselves, so that I might be able to help her. If anyone has any info on depression or anything to do with teenage suicide I would greatly appreciate it!!!!

 

As a mother of a child that made attempts, I can tell you that there are no easy answers for the separate causes of each depression or suicide.

 

I can only contribute a few things I learned through my own experiences with my daughter.

Looking back, her periods of depression really began after being molested at age 5. 90% of the time, she seemed very happy, the perfectly normal kid.

Around 10, she started putting on weight, comfort eating as they called it.

She saw therapists for awhile and they claimed she was fine.

At 13, she started self mutilating. Unnoticed things at first, then small cuts that the "cat made", a very bad burn followed, along with my realization of what was happening, then the first attempt.

 

After the first attempt, her depression got much worse. Later, I found out it was because of her embarrassment and her guilt along with the over "pampering". Embarrassment because she felt she let me down, because of the whispers, the shock, the perceived anger and in some instances, they even feel embarrassed about "failing" the attempt.

The guilt is especially hard on them. The guilt of "hurting" the one's that love them. My daughter couldn't even look me in the eyes for weeks.

The biggest problem I see is that "teens aren't taught how to manage feelings like intense fear, anxiety, hurt, anger, depression or whatever the feeling is.

Parents may discard their child's altered behavior as a phase or something that will pass." Teens don't bring up problems because parents tend to freak out or react negatively, or become overwhelming, because they have this "need" to feel that their child is normal and all is well.

 

My advice at this time would be to walk gently, but don't over do it.

Let her bring it up if she wants to talk about it. Don't give her those big sympathetic eyes and ask her repeatedly "how she's doing", or try to fix all her problems. Be strong but compassionate. Remember who she is to you, a friend. Be one to her. Make her laugh. Include her in all the things you always have. Don't treat her like she's different.

Don't try to be her knight in shining armor, she doesn't need to be "saved" so to speak, she needs to be understood, to feel needed, important, and most of all loved, no matter what her faults may be.

 

If she brings the subject up, listen. Don't try to rationalize it (they feel patronized) or tell her how to fix things unless she asks. Even then, tell her what YOU would do in each problem or situation. If you have the same thoughts or problems, tell her. She needs to know she's not alone or different. If she brings up being depressed, listen, assure her that depression is normal, but for some people, depression is kinda like having diabetes, sometimes you have to see doctors or take medication to get the chemicals working right. (Depressed people fear that their severly different, or will be looked at like mental cases.) Depression is by large, a chemical imbalance of the neurotransmitters, whether it's short term or long, severe or mild.

 

Put yourself in her shoes, think about how you might be feeling right now, and then magnify it by 110%. Act accordingly. :lol:

 

 

I hope your friend finds some happiness and gets the help she deserves.

 

Sorry for the rambling, again, a subject very near to my heart.

[learnin to learn]

Thank you all so much for your help! I talked to her about keeping a journal, but she says that it makes her even more depressed. Again thanks for helping me!

[InfiniteNow]

but she says that it makes her even more depressed.

Just remember that you cannot just snap your fingers, and there is no ONE RIGHT THING to say that makes it all better.

 

Let yourself be okay with her depression, and be available. After that, it's really her who needs to find her way out of the hole she's in. It's nice too that she'll be stronger for it once she does 'surface' again.

[Cedars]

Learnin, There is one thing I havent seen brought up and that is, what about you?

 

Getting involved with someone in this situation has a risk to you also, that you may not have thought about. Try as you might there is a chance that the worse will happen and you could lose your friend. Attached to that is what effect that will have on you... the if I had only, or the I should have known stuff that can wrack a mind with guilt, anger, and a host of other issues.

 

Have you given thought to what you will do for yourself? Have you considered that getting involved with this person on this level may require that you seek help from a counselor sooner, than later? I would strongly suggest that you have an outlet for your own turmoil that may need to be addressed, if things become uncertain for you.

 

Right now it doesnt sound like its at that point. It doesnt sound like your friend is an immediate risk for self harm. But I am talking about a few months later. So that you are able to be strong enough to handle the stress that is a potential for your future.

[learnin to learn]

Learnin, There is one thing I havent seen brought up and that is, what about you?

 

Getting involved with someone in this situation has a risk to you also, that you may not have thought about. Try as you might there is a chance that the worse will happen and you could lose your friend. Attached to that is what effect that will have on you... the if I had only, or the I should have known stuff that can wrack a mind with guilt, anger, and a host of other issues.

 

Have you given thought to what you will do for yourself? Have you considered that getting involved with this person on this level may require that you seek help from a counselor sooner, than later? I would strongly suggest that you have an outlet for your own turmoil that may need to be addressed, if things become uncertain for you.

 

Right now it doesnt sound like its at that point. It doesnt sound like your friend is an immediate risk for self harm. But I am talking about a few months later. So that you are able to be strong enough to handle the stress that is a potential for your future.

 

I thank you for your concern. I recieved help just this night from an old paster friend of mine. I did not want to bring me into this discussion because I did not want to offend those who do not believe in the lord. My faith in the lord has gotten me through every challenge thrown at me in my life. This shall be no different.

 

I know that she might take a turn for the worse, but not before I have a chance to help her. She has entrusted so much in me that I cannot let her down! Yes if things take a turn for a worse I feel that a part of me will never be the same again, but I believe that the lord can and will help me through it.

I get my strenght through the lord.

 

I know that I cannot stop her from wanting to end her life, but I can guide her! I can show her love, compassion, and stand beside her through thick and thin.

 

Cedars, If things do not work out, I know that my entire life will be changed! She means so much to me! But I know that the lord is there for me. And through him anything is possible!

 

I know I probally sound like a broken record, but I really want to thank you all for sharing you advice, experiences, and your compassion w/ me! It really does mean a lot to me!

l2l

[IrishEyes]

I am trying to learn all I can about what causes people to want to kill themselves, so that I might be able to help her. If anyone has any info on depression or anything to do with teenage suicide I would greatly appreciate it!!!!

l2l

Uh, yeah, been there, done that, have the scars.

Crazy childhood left me emotionally empty. I tried to kill myself a few times. Honestly, I really didn't want to die. I just wanted to NOT FEEL PAIN anymore. In my mind, the easiest way to not feel it was to end my life. Death was not the goal, getting rid of the pain was.

I tried sliting my wrists, and taking pills a few times. I still have scars on my wrists, and still have an aversion to OTC pain relievers to this day. They just make me gag, and that was quite a few years ago.

 

How to treat her...

Well, like many have said, I think being there for her is the best thing you can do at this point. She's hurting, and needs to know that people care. Don't preach at her, and don't expect to be able to fix things. Just open your arms to her, and your ears for her, and make sure she knows that you love her. She does know that already, right? If not, she should read this thread, because it seems pretty obvious to me. (just my opinion, ok)

 

Best of luck to you both.

Irish

 

ps- Since you're a faith type person, might I also suggest that you pray? Don't just pray *for* her, pray for yourself, that He will use you, that your words will fall on open ears, and then, it never hurts to pray *with* her, as well.:hyper:

[learnin to learn]

yeah I do love her.... I would do anything for her.... SHe knows how I feel. I have told her on more than one occasion. Yesterday, we skipped school and just talked all day. Yesterday, was the first time I actually told her that I loved her. I usually just tell her I really care about her. But she only sees me as a friend. I do pray for her and me, everynight... and I listen to her.... I think me being there for her has helped her alot!!! thanksfor your advice!!!!

[learnin to learn]

UPDATE:

Sarah is doing a lot better. I talk to her two or three times a day. She is not completely over it, but like yall said it will take time. Thank yall for all the advice! I really appreciate it!

[Tormod]

Closed on Learnin to learn's request.