nemo Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 That is the funniest thing I've read in quite some time. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishEyes Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 DD, that was bloody brilliant!!More...more...more...!Please, sir, may I have another? I'm just giggling over here on this side of the pond... :eek_big: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty.deeds Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 well as you asked so nicely..LOL.... (sorry to everyone for going off topic,i promise i won't do it again .. :eek_big: ) Schools! Public vs Comprehensive There is, as I'm sure you are aware, a slight difference between private schools and comprehensives in Britain. The Department of Education has realised this and has revised the secondary Maths Exam papers accordingly. Attached are the most recent maths exam papers for your reference. MATHS TEST FOR COMPREHENSIVES Name:_______________________________________________________ ______ Nickname:___________________________________________________ _______ Gang Name:_______________________________________________________ __ 1. Simon has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Matt for £300 and 90 grams to Ollie for £90, what is the street value of the rest of his stash? 2. Damon pimps 3 bitches. If the price is £40 a ride, how many jobs per day must each ***** perform to support Damon's £500 a day coke habit? 3. Crackster wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for £7,000 to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need? 4 Trev got 6 years for murder. He also got £350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends £3,100per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Trev get for killing the slapper that spent his money? 5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free? 6. Liam steals Jordan's skateboard. As Liam skates away at a speed of 35mph, Jordan loads his brother's Armalite, If it takes Jordan 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liam have travelled when he gets whacked? __________________________________ MATHS TEST FOR PRIVATE SCHOOLS Name:_______________________________________________________ ___________ ____________________________________________________________ ___________ ____________________________________________________________ ___________ ____________________________________________________________ ___________ (lf longer please continue on a separate sheet) School______________________________________________________ ____________ Daddy's/Mummy's Company:________________________________________________ 1. Harry smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing 3 people. The old man asks his local Chief Constable to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Harry driving now? 2. Fiona's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Fiona doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what? 3. Tristram fancies the arse off a certain number of debutants, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 tablets of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two thirds? 4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost? 5. Henry is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When will he stand for parliament? -------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alxian Posted August 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 didn't expect much, very dispicable yet visceral in its imagery. good stuff i'm sure the home schooling version is much funnier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boerseun Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Interesting topic. And so easy to tear into! But now - on a more serious note: The International trend seems to be the unification of individual States with similar interests into bigger political units. The European Union being a case in point, although it could be said that the EU in its current form isn't exactly what it was planned to be, and that the EU is probably the eventual result of that long process that started with the two World Wars, that was the result of nineteenth-century European politics, which was once again the culmination of everything leading up to the 'Nation-State'. Whatever the case, we are today confonted by a United Europe (although there might be some faint cracks appearing in this unity...) Southern Africa is pursuing unity as well - through the Southern African Development Community. And they, too, want closer political ties, and an eventual monetary union somewhere around 2015-2020. That will inevitably lead to even closer political unity, the removal of trade barriers, and the free movement of people. And that implies the eventual loss of sovereignty of individual States to the Greater State, the SADC. So, the question then is wether eventual unity between the US and Canada is inevitable, or if these two countries are going to ignore the sweep of history due to mutual dislike/distrust? Won't these two countries miss a grand opportunity? The establishment of a "United States of North America" might be the only way to counter China's spot on the World Map as the next superpower. The mutual distrust and dislike between Canadians and US citizens might not even be meaningful in the long run, if you keep in mind that European Unification was a ludicrous idea if you asked any French citizen and German citizen that in the 1930's. And then maybe Australians and Kiwis can get over their issues and join up as well. I think such unifications might save a lot of countries a lot of money, with the only issue standing in the way being nationalism. And we saw in the 1940's how dangerous that can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GAHD Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 The mutual distrust and dislike between Canadians and US citizens might not even be meaningful in the long run, if you keep in mind that European Unification was a ludicrous idea if you asked any French citizen and German citizen that in the 1930's. Here is where you have it wrong:Canadians think of Americans like children; a little slow, but still people.We dislike and distrust The States of America: the political scheme, and all laws built up allowing such a rediculous usurping of power from the people. The educational and legal systems quite simply Horrify us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boerseun Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 GAHD - point well taken. What I'm saying, though, is that even the current legal and educational institutions (or lack thereof) in the States shouldn't be too much of a hassle in the Grand Scheme of Things, seen with the necessary hindsight that time will bring. Imagine asking a Frenchman in 1938 what his opinion of German government is, and if he thinks unification would be possible? Of course for any such unification to be even considered, serious political and institutional synchronization between the two countries involved would have to take place first - which will probably benefit the US much more than it would the Canadians, because of their much bigger population. But hypothetically speaking, won't they miss a great opportunity in the long run by placing too much value on current disagreement? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishEyes Posted August 29, 2005 Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 I'm just wondering why only Canada and the US will combine in this scenario.The last time I checked, there were more than just these two countries in North America. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alxian Posted August 29, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 there were more than just these two countries in North America. really?? which are/were they? and no k-bec isn't yet its own country, the second it is the US can attack and gain a firm toe hold on the rest of the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffy Posted August 29, 2005 Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 really?? which are/were they?Uh, Mexico, senor.... Ay Carramba!Buffy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alxian Posted August 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 Uh, Mexico, senor.... Ay Carramba!Buffy yeah i know i kinda realised after i had posted (several hours later on my way home from work...) lol... i'm not sure why i never included mexico as being a country the US would ever want to unite with... also i could see them [mexico] uniting with central america before the US ever thought about absorbing them. far more beneficial to keep them at arms length than govern them and extend the bubble of civil rights over them. perhaps that applies to canada too and i've never realised how different our countries might be that they would rather keep us at arms length than merge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishEyes Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 Actually, I think that evrtything people refer to as 'Central America' is actually North America. Last time I checked, there were only 7 continents, officially (NA, SA, EU,AF, AS, AU, AN). So basically all the way down to Columbia would be part of your unification. Check this out... From http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/world/A0811093.html Central America, narrow, southernmost region (c.202,200 sq mi/523,698 sq km) of North America, linked to South America at Colombia. And I'm hoping that you were joking when you said "also i could see them [mexico] uniting with central america before the US ever thought about absorbing them. far more beneficial to keep them at arms length than govern them and extend the bubble of civil rights over them. ". Otherwise, I'm not exactly sure what you meant.Care to elaborate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alxian Posted August 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 good thing my stupid wrap is nice and warm from the dryer.. i'll wrap myself up in its and enjoy a few more hours of qaulity television. having spent most of that last 25 hours watching 14 episodes of stargate. i was saying politically MEXICO and the countries (some of them) of 'central america' might unify like europe has before canada or the US would even consider such a unification. like if they (everything south of texas, unified their consolidated trading might might enable them to trade better with europe the americas and japan and china. the US would lose money if that happened or if they were part of that mrger themselves, until the central american federation began serioulsy consuming resources to build up their major cities. *fires up google earth for the first time in a few weeks. in the process discovers GDS has an embiggen button... wow this GDS is actually useful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biochemist Posted September 1, 2005 Report Share Posted September 1, 2005 ...the US is a rather large country, but canada is larger, the US is expanding its population such that eventually they will need to expand with nowhere really to go....Less than 10% of the US is developed. I think even if you exclude Alaska, the number if under 15%. It would be quite a while before we might need to encroach on our neighbors to the North for space. They might need to encroach on the US to find a hospitable business climate, but that is another discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biochemist Posted September 1, 2005 Report Share Posted September 1, 2005 ...the US would lose money if that happened or if they were part of that mrger themselves, until the central american federation began serioulsy consuming resources to build up their major cities. ....Unlikely. I suspect that the US would be the single largest economic beneficiary if the central american countries united into a single economic unit. It would make trade far more efficient, and the US would benefit from having a larger group as part of NAFTA. Any conservative administration would be delighted to have such a development. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alxian Posted September 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 i was thinking even if the central american federation much like the EU grew faster than the 15% of the US they wouldn't represent a better trader partner than the current countries do, in that they have more power and could control prices a resources a bit better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannieyankee Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 long overdue? the US is a rather large country, but canada is larger, the US is expanding its population such that eventually they will need to expand with nowhere really to go. politically also it would shut the door to terrorism. canada it is no secret is an open door to the US. merging the two countries would create a far more secure nation. some american states change into provinces and former canadian provinces to states? i think ontario and new hampshire might switch. Do you want to know the main reason of the decline of the Roman empire? It was too big. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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