Fear and Free

[HydrogenBond]

If one looks at fear, it is chemically based on a particular chemical train. This chemical train will interact with the brain and create a certain brain potential. The memories that become conscious are all associated with the fear tone. The trick is to change the brain potential. People often go to their happy place, which has a different feeling tone and a different range of memory association. To change the fear association of the fear memory one needs to change the feeling tone associated with the memories. For example, if one was afraid of cats one could not even be in the same room. But if one day a little kitten would not take no and leave you alone, eventually, it might be associated with humor and cuteness. Once this took hold the memory association with cats would become a hybrid of emotional potential or mixed feelings. One may still fear cats but it would be with far less potential due to the exception to the rule allowing reason to help with the subjectivity.

[lindagarrette]

Fear of loneliness:

 

Human loneliness is born out of a suspicious perception and an unwillingness to be honest with each other.

When we can trust each other enough to be totally honest, loneliness wll pass.................................the problem is: We keep finding good reasons to be suspicious................Infy

We are doomed to be lonely. In my 50 years of experience, everytime I've trusted someone, when it comes down to an impass, I've been betrayed. Then people blame me, the victim, for not being more suspicious.

[CraigD]

Do you know of any way to cure people of irrational fear?

In my experience, ”desensitization” is practically the only good therapy for treating phobias – severe, irrational fear. The basic approach with desensitization is to gradually expose the patient the object of their fear.

 

My wife, for example, was at one time terribly afraid of bees. We self-designed and administered a desensitization program that started with her handling cute plush toy bees, then more realistic models, then keeping a few bees in a glass jar, until she could finally approach a bee hive and not panic if a few bees buzzed or landed on her. She still doesn’t much like bees, but she’s no longer paralyzed with fear if one get near her.

[Queso]

no need to

balance takes care of all

[infamous]

We are doomed to be lonely. In my 50 years of experience, everytime I've trusted someone, when it comes down to an impass, I've been betrayed. Then people blame me, the victim, for not being more suspicious.

I fear that you are right about us being doomed to loneliness linda, it truly is a difficult position to be in. Wanting to share our thoughts and feelings with others but always being disappointed by betrayal. It is totally ironic, knowing that so many other human beings are dealing with the same disappointments but unwilling to be honest enough to open themselves up to the scrutiny of their peers. Afterall, most people really want to share themselves with others but are afraid that when doing so they will expose their weaknesses and be taken advantage of. I'm 63 and still waiting for that truly honest exchange with another human being that will satisfy my deepest need to know that I've really shared my mind with another. This is the reason we can be surrounded by a multitude of people and still feel so very alone. ...................Infy

[otcartsid]

Fear does seem to be controlling in that it has so much power in holding people back!

 

Im surprised no one has mentioned anything about positive thinking being an antidote. Positive thinking not only can help give you courage but it even seems like it attracts good things to you, which may build your confidence (more confidence=less fear?)

 

I agree with Loricybin in that fear seems to stem from the unknown. Related to this, the more irrational something is, the more difficult it is to remove.

 

I also agree with CraigD’s belief that people have to work on being less fearful by getting their self accustomed to that particular situation, etc.

[CraigD]

We are doomed to be lonely. In my 50 years of experience, everytime I've trusted someone, when it comes down to an impass, I've been betrayed. Then people blame me, the victim, for not being more suspicious.

Like most people I’ve known well enough to share such things with, in my 45 years I’ve also experienced a lot of trust, and a lot of betrayal, both as betrayer and betrayed. However, without wishing to discount Linda’s feelings, I believe the feeling that we are doomed to be lonely is too pessimistic.

 

Sometime we are able to share our most personal feelings, and we are not lonely. Seemingly inevitably, the situation sours, and we are lonely. It’s been my experience that life goes on, and new opportunities for sharing present themselves. What seem to me critical is that we resist the urge to avoid the pain of intimacy lost by avoiding intimacy itself. Loneliness is only inevitable when we surrender our desire to not be lonely. In a very important way, I believe the fear of the pain of betrayal and loss to be the ultimate fear.

[Loricybin]

Loneliness is only inevitable when we surrender our desire to not be lonely. In a very important way, I believe the fear of the pain of betrayal and loss to be the ultimate fear.

 

i think we also have an ultimately recurring fear of death.

but i don't think anyone or anyhting in its proper state of mind would WANT to die, it makes sense we would all fear this to some degree.

[lindagarrette]

It is totally ironic, knowing that so many other human beings are dealing with the same disappointments but unwilling to be honest enough to open themselves up to the scrutiny of their peers.

Many people find excuses for their disappointments, including me. When I'm really down about my options, I sign onto the hypography forums and look for like-minded souls. Linda

[infamous]

When I'm really down about my options, I sign onto the hypography forums and look for like-minded souls. Linda

Absolutely Linda, thank goodness for Hypography.....................Infy