C1ay Posted September 30, 2005 Report Share Posted September 30, 2005 A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to takeover 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons. Enjoy :doh: Dark Mind 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormod Posted September 30, 2005 Report Share Posted September 30, 2005 I wonder if governmentium is ring-formed, so that a fair amount of the reactions it impedes actually go straight through the hole and disappears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turtle Posted September 30, 2005 Report Share Posted September 30, 2005 I wonder if governmentium is ring-formed, so that a fair amount of the reactions it impedes actually go straight through the hole and disappears.Making Governmentium a hole in space you pour money into. As to this "...This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass"." I have discovered by experiment that the Critical Morass requires only 2 Morons if 1 of the 2 Morons is a right spin Megalomanion. :doh: If I can't stop laughing, I'm gonna peon a moron. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erich Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Dear Folks , Can anyone find who is credited with this gem ? A few people have asked to publish it but want to give proper credit Cheers, Erich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C1ay Posted October 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Dear Folks , Can anyone find who is credited with this gem ? A few people have asked to publish it but want to give proper credit Cheers, ErichIt would be my guess that it's in the public domain. A google search on governmentium returns 55,000 hits. I've seen it or similar copies several times through the years including on paper pre-internet explosion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.