Justified anger as self-defence

[paigetheoracle]

Not sure if this should be here or in philosophy weight room or the medical forum because of the subject matter and points raised.

 

Background. My right ear has been blocked for several days with wax. I was going to go to the doctors, to have the practice nurse syringe it out but as my wife is a health visitor, she said why not let me do it? Bad idea for the following reasons.

 

Firstly, she scalded the inside of the blocked ear, despite my telling her several times that the water was too hot and pushing the syringe away. Second, she insisted again that she hose out the other ear, which has resulted in me now not being able to hear out of either ear properly, so that I am deafer than she is (She has small ear canals and is partially deaf) - which means I had the TV up louder than she could stand it, in order to hear anything.

 

Now comes the moral of the story. Point one - I should have gotten angry enough to stop her before the damage was done. Because I didn't, I became a passive victim of her interference. Second point - she isn't me, which means without feedback from the patient, doctors can do more harm than good (iatrogenic damage). Any patient therefore that doesn't react, when the health practitioner probes them, is just a body without a mind, under such circumstances and is consenting to what happens to them. If the doctor, nurse etc. is insensitive, it is the patients duty to make this known to them verbally or physically by restraining them as this is assault, whether accidental or deliberate as in crime (a hole in the head is a hole in the head, whether intentional or not - to the victim, the injury is the important point, not the conscience/ consciousness of the person creating the wound).

[CraigD]

Not sure if this should be here or in philosophy weight room or the medical forum because of the subject matter and points raised.

Seems medical to me. As most people in the profession will tell you, medicine is about a lot more than anatomy, physiology, and pharmacology! I’ll move it accordingly.

Background. My right ear has been blocked for several days with wax. I was going to go to the doctors, to have the practice nurse syringe it out but as my wife is a health visitor, she said why not let me do it? Bad idea for the following reasons.

 

Firstly, she scalded the inside of the blocked ear, despite my telling her several times that the water was too hot and pushing the syringe away. Second, she insisted again that she hose out the other ear, which has resulted in me now not being able to hear out of either ear properly,

First, I’m sorry to hear about your ear canal problems, and hope are better soon. Nobody like to have their senses impinged!

 

You raise a very important point, I believe, about giving a clinician feedback during a medical procedure. Good clinicians make a point of stressing that a patient should speak up if they feel discomfort, or have any doubt that things are going well with a procedure. As the old, old saying goes, better safe (and slow) than sorry!

 

I disagree with the assertion that its necessary to be angry to communicate effectively. A good clinician doesn’t need her patient to become angry to take his feedback seriously, and, as in most things, calm is more conducive to effective communication than anger.

 

I think your wife is due a good scolding for her clinical technique. Just because she knows you and is working for free doesn’t mean she should use less than best practices! :naughty:

 

Concerning ear irrigation, I recommend you do your own. It’s an easy procedure, nearly (but, as your experience proves, not completely) impossible to do wrong, and something you get a feel for with repetition. It can also be, in a peculiar way, pleasant. Use of wax-softening drops is optional – plain warm tap water works as well, if takes longer. Just take your time, and have fun inspecting all the gunk that eventually rinses out. In my experience, the small soft, blue bulb-shaped syringes available at nearly any pharmacy work best, and if rinsed thoroughly after use and kept in a clean place, last for many years.

 

As ear irrigation is a bit messy and time-consuming, you might benefit from a trick I was taught long ago by my clinician parents. When showering, adjust you showerhead so that you can get a not-to-strong steam of water down your ear canals by angling your head. If you shower frequently, a minute or less each shower flushing your ears this way can keep them sparkly clean indefinitely.

 

The above should apply to 99% of people, but not people with perforated or otherwise malformed or damaged ear drums. Rarely, ear wax can become so hard it can’t be flushed out with water, no matter how long your try. In those cases, don’t try to get it out yourself – see a professional.

 

As a general rule, never put anything solid in your ear. Even a finger can tamp earwax down into the canal, making conditions worse.

[paigetheoracle]

Unfortunately it is too hard to get out myself (tried): I have tried the shower technique too. What you say about putting something into your ear, I found out to my cost years ago (I thought the cotton bud would get it out but instead it was like firing a cannon, where you ram everything into the mouth of it, to ensure 'compression').

 

You're right about the anger point too. I'm afraid this is probably a sign of my undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome or plain ignorance as it never occurred to me that there is another way of dealing with the problem than losing your temper: Just after Christmas it suddenly dawned on me that if my wife could smell my bad breath ("Don't kiss me your breath stinks!"), then so could others!

 

By the way do you know anything about Sensory Processing Disorder and the differences between it and being on the Autistic Spectrum as I'm not sure if my symptoms fall into that category or the former? (One odd trait I have is that once my wife hit me with Thai Bongers, as she called them, that resembled these drum sticks with round balls on the end, for hitting big bass drums as you walk along. I told her she was hurting me (again) but she didn't believe me as I was laughing [the bruises, the following day, proved otherwise]).

[lemit]

First, you shouldn't discuss "Thai Bongers" here. Children read these posts.

 

I have been firmly convinced, since I was a year old, suffering from Polio and somehow knowing that people were laughing at my inability to control my movements, that the variety of human experience and human intelligence is grossly underrated and misunderstood. Don't think for a second that whatever makes you reluctant to criticize people who are honestly trying to help but failing is a disorder of any kind. Until recently it was the accepted social practice.

 

Having grown up in an isolated rural remnant of 19th Century culture, I do not feel comfortable interrupting doctors in medias res. Also, I always think it impractical to disagree with anyone wielding medical or dental equipment, in the same way that as a pedestrian I always assume vehicles (which weigh considerably more than I do) have the right of way.

 

Once the procedure is completed, I often change doctors. As I've chronicled elsewhere, I went through dozens of prescriptions--and their debilitating results--and dozens of doctors who were absolutely certain I had clinical depression before self-diagnosing a vitamin deficiency associated vaguely with Postpolio and the numerous digestive conditions that accompany it. (I now have the term "active" emblazened on my medical records.) But I never changed doctors on the operating table, including several times when the anesthesia had worn off.

 

But that might just be my particular niche on the continuum of psychosocial behavior. God Bless My Happy Niche.

 

p.s. I italicized the period after in medias res in the third paragraph. Can you tell?

[paigetheoracle]

 

First, I’m sorry to hear about your ear canal problems, and hope are better soon. Nobody like to have their senses impinged!

 

You raise a very important point, I believe, about giving a clinician feedback during a medical procedure. Good clinicians make a point of stressing that a patient should speak up if they feel discomfort, or have any doubt that things are going well with a procedure. As the old, old saying goes, better safe (and slow) than sorry!

 

I disagree with the assertion that its necessary to be angry to communicate effectively. A good clinician doesn’t need her patient to become angry to take his feedback seriously, and, as in most things, calm is more conducive to effective communication than anger.

 

Rarely, ear wax can become so hard it can’t be flushed out with water, no matter how long your try. In those cases, don’t try to get it out yourself – see a professional.

 

 

Have had it done - they were really bad. I'd softened the right one for a week but left the other alone. The practice nurse took a long time flushing out the amount in this ear but said she'd have a go at the other one, which after a lot of effort came out too, thankfully.

 

I think the clinician point and the anger point are related in that it is about ego. I wouldn't get angry if I didn't feel offended (just back from holiday and realized that the frustrated way I react here was different from the island, where I didn't really get angry there or at least need migraine pills for the resultant angst.

 

A clinician who doesn't listen, has an ego problem. By this I mean 'fears feedback' because it may challenge their status (I've got a friend on another site, who has just shut everyone else out for this very reason - become very paranoid).

[paigetheoracle]

First, you shouldn't discuss "Thai Bongers" here. Children read these posts.

 

I have been firmly convinced, since I was a year old, suffering from Polio and somehow knowing that people were laughing at my inability to control my movements, that the variety of human experience and human intelligence is grossly underrated and misunderstood. Don't think for a second that whatever makes you reluctant to criticize people who are honestly trying to help but failing is a disorder of any kind. Until recently it was the accepted social practice.

 

Having grown up in an isolated rural remnant of 19th Century culture, I do not feel comfortable interrupting doctors in medias res. Also, I always think it impractical to disagree with anyone wielding medical or dental equipment, in the same way that as a pedestrian I always assume vehicles (which weigh considerably more than I do) have the right of way.

 

Once the procedure is completed, I often change doctors. As I've chronicled elsewhere, I went through dozens of prescriptions--and their debilitating results--and dozens of doctors who were absolutely certain I had clinical depression before self-diagnosing a vitamin deficiency associated vaguely with Postpolio and the numerous digestive conditions that accompany it. (I now have the term "active" emblazened on my medical records.) But I never changed doctors on the operating table, including several times when the anesthesia had worn off.

 

But that might just be my particular niche on the continuum of psychosocial behavior. God Bless My Happy Niche.

 

p.s. I italicized the period after in medias res in the third paragraph. Can you tell?

No.:lol:

 

My attitude exactly - I also never tell an axe wielding murderer to put down their weapon, if it makes them feel more confident because the last thing you want in front of you is a nervous axe wielding murderer!