Winners and Losers in the Game of Life

[pgrmdave]

So sayeth the great questor...

 

I know people in most of those categories, with the exception of number 4. I wouldn't call a single one of them losers, nor would they call themselves losers. Who gets to define who is a loser? You? Me? I humbly suggest that each person gets to submit for themselves the criteria for being a 'winner' or a 'loser' or neither.

[questor]

I have my own definition of loser. Doesn't everybody? If you call a druggie or a negative personality a winner, we are on totally different wavelengths. If you have this view, how do you spot a winner?

[pgrmdave]

A druggie is not defined entirely by the use of drugs. In fact, the person I'm thinking of is doing well in school, has a good home life, good friends, and uses drugs. I have a friend who has a very negative outlook on life, often is angry or annoyed, but she is studying two languages, loving what she's learning, and is doing what she wants to do.

 

Like I've said before, I think that 'winner' and 'loser' are a bit narrowly defined, and best defined by asking somebody what they think their definition is and whether it applies to them. I focus on loser because often people will have different answers when asked "What is a winner?" and "What is a loser?" - there will be a big divide between the two. I think that the very question in fact posts a false binary, similar to "Are you rich or poor?"

[questor]

Money does not define a winner, but failure to achieve what you are capable of can describe a loser. I'm sure your druggie friends family would take issue with you and I would have to see how your negative friends personality affects those around her. Learning languages doesn't make one a winner.

[pgrmdave]

How does one know what one is capable of? Here you are, posting online, having a petty discussion with a 22 year old (who, btw, is at work and slacking off) when you could be out there bettering yourself and saving the world!

 

And I'm friends with her family - they're doing rather well, thank you. She's going into the Marines (and stopping drug use soon for it) in a few months and they couldn't be prouder of her.

[questor]

I would say good for her! Her game has just begun, she may become a winner. If she does, she will do it by following the rules of the game of life. As for me, I can't get much better. I can spend time here because I have already played my game. Maybe some of the other young ones will learn something.

[freeztar]

As for me, I can't get much better.

 

Isn't that the attitude of a loser that you were speaking about? :D

[pgrmdave]

He who dies with the most toys wins. Seriously, I don't think that there is any way to define 'winner' except with through the subjective lens of the individual player. And I also think that the idea of life having 'rules' by which to play is a little odd. Perhaps society has rules, in which case I definitely agree, but life? There are no rules beyond that which you accept for yourself. There are only choices, consequences, and personal responsibility.

[Donk]

Winners say.. I can do it! Losers say..It can't be done!

I didn't say the playing field is level. It isn't, and the game is not played with the same equipment, but the winners have the same attitudes and the losers have the same attitudes. If you want to succeed, would you pattern yor life after a loser?

You're saying it's all down to self-belief? Rubbish! A long-time friend of mine has lashings of self-belief. His tenth company has just come crashing down around his ears - as usual, it's anybody's fault but his own. He goes into each new venture totally convinced that this one is going to make his fortune. (He's also on his third marriage, but whether the two issues are connected I couldn't say.)

As for me, I can't get much better. I can spend time here because I have already played my game. Maybe some of the other young ones will learn something.

Every new year, I play a little game with myself, asking two questions:

1) Am I better than I was last year?

2) Am I as good as I can be?

I'm looking for "yes, I'm better than I was" - I'm growing; and "no, I can still improve" - room for more growth. If the answers have come out the other way around (they have sometimes), I know it's time to change tracks. And I'll still be asking myself those two questions when I'm ninety, I hope.

[questor]

I would say your friend makes poor choices, but at least he keeps trying.. He should sit with a counselor to determine if he has any business strengths. This counselor should not be female, the last thing he needs is another wife. He must have a lot of money if he can continue opening businesses that fail.

Maybe he has the attitude of a loser. Why do you think he failed? Has anyone else been successful at the same type business? Does he write out a detailed business plan? Does he fully understand the business he engages in?

Does he pick a good location?

[questor]

The game of life definitely has rules. One is that you must get the best education possible, because you will never be the smartest person in your field. Another is: be at work early, you get more time to brown-nose the boss.

If you watch successful people, the rules become sef-evident. Losers don't follow the rules.

[freeztar]

The game of life definitely has rules. One is that you must get the best education possible, because you will never be the smartest person in your field. Another is: be at work early, you get more time to brown-nose the boss.

If you watch successful people, the rules become sef-evident. Losers don't follow the rules.

 

As Dave said, these are not rules of life, but of society. I have friends that live in Alaska mainly outside of society and they do not have these rules. They don't have jobs. They are almost entirely self-sufficient and rely on nature to provide for all their needs. They live very well and are among the happiest people I know. They are the ultimate winners in your so called game.

 

A rule of life would be something like...avoid getting eaten by a large carnivore, but one could even argue that death is a rule of life.

[Donk]

I would say your friend makes poor choices, but at least he keeps trying.. He should sit with a counselor to determine if he has any business strengths. This counselor should not be female, the last thing he needs is another wife. He must have a lot of money if he can continue opening businesses that fail.

Maybe he has the attitude of a loser. Why do you think he failed? Has anyone else been successful at the same type business? Does he write out a detailed business plan? Does he fully understand the business he engages in?

Does he pick a good location?

Mostly he loses other people's money, including a few hundred of mine on his first enterprise. He's never had any trouble finding backers - he's a natural salesman, though probably the sort that gives salesmen a bad name.

 

When we were both mid-20s, we went to one of those motivational business "seminars". You know the sort - the guy in the sharp suit, so loaded with energy it shines out of him. Lots of catchphrases, especially about win... win... WIN!!! Win at all costs... put enough effort into it, you'll succeed... don't just wish for a yacht - go out and GET IT!!! You know the kind of thing - you've been pushing it at us all the way through this thread :)

 

We were an audience of ten, paying a couple of quid each. He spent more time trying to sell us his books and tapes than he did telling us how to make the miracle actually happen. Clearly it hadn't happened for him, otherwise he wouldn't have had to work so hard at trying to make a few quid out of us punters. BS, I thought, but entertaining. Don fell for it though - he's been chasing the pot of gold ever since.

 

Incidentally, I choose my friends for their entertainment value, not their probity ;)

[questor]

I'm sure you have some friends who may be winners.

[Donk]

You don't take account of risk factors. Reaching for that pot of gold is often a gamble. If you succeed, you take your family on to easy street. If you fail, they're on skid row. If somebody has no family money as a backstop, can you really blame them for staying safe?

I'm sure you have some friends who may be winners.

I know many people that we'd both call winners, and others we'd both call losers.

 

I know one guy who you'd call a "winner". Started with nothing much, now has a 6- or 7-figure income, large estate in the country, luxury apartment in town, trophy wife, a couple of top-of-the range motors. I'd call him a big-time loser.

 

And one guy that you'd probably call a "loser". I'd say he's the most successful person I've ever known.

 

It all depends on your definitions.

[Moontanman]

I would say good for her! Her game has just begun, she may become a winner. If she does, she will do it by following the rules of the game of life. As for me, I can't get much better. I can spend time here because I have already played my game. Maybe some of the other young ones will learn something.

 

Define druggie questor, I would love to read your definition of what a druggie is.

[Moontanman]

The game of life definitely has rules. One is that you must get the best education possible, because you will never be the smartest person in your field. Another is: be at work early, you get more time to brown-nose the boss.

If you watch successful people, the rules become sef-evident. Losers don't follow the rules.

 

Some how I figured you to be a brown noser, in other words you don't have any real beliefs but you do agree with anything anyone in a position of power over you believes? I've often wondered if all conservatives lacked the ability to disagree with anyone who they see as in a position of power over them.