In a Family Unit; Have you ever been punished for Breaking 'The rules'?

[Guest chendoh]

Yes...I gained...Lost respect.

No.....I gained...Lost respect.

[Guest chendoh]

Yes.....I gained.

[Tormod]

I don't understand this poll. :eek_big:

[Guest chendoh]

I don't understand this poll. :cocktail:

Your right Tormod, since comming back today I find I have a hard time understanding it also. There is not enough information to vote on.

 

The thought struck me in an other thread, about Parents raising children, and when one, as a child 'broke one of the rules', were you punished?

was it passively, (placed in the corner) or

physically, the sound of leather comming out of your Father's belt loops.

 

And in retrospect in our later years, whether or not one, had

'Learned something' about being a good person, or if one had lost all respect for not only themselves, and their parents, but also God, Country, and apple pie.

 

I will work on bettering the poll, and have it back in a day or so.

[Freddy]

Depending on the negative behavior punishment usually fit the offense. It could be a simple verbal redirection for a minor problem, being sent to your room for a period, being grounded for a period, and even spanked with a hand or leather belt. I was a fast learner, but did manage as a young teen to get my mouth washed out with soap for calling my little brother a bastard. My mom denies to this day she ever did that. I tell her that I just like the taste of Ivory soap now.

[jillbee7]

I do not understand whether gaining respect refers to gaining respect from my parents (no, since I created some sort of trespass), or from my siblings, or from my peers or from the community at large!

 

My parents did not respect me if I had committed some sin, and I was punished quite often (really, too often). The result was that I learned how to show no emotion, to put up with pain and to mind the rules. I did gain respect for rules, of which there were many in our household. Actually, these punishments, eliciting the results above, have served me in good stead in my adult life. As a woman, I learned not to cry whenever I was criticized, as some do, and to take the blows of life without thinking too much of them (knowing that one must expect hardships in life).

 

I also learned from being punished too many times, that negative blows are not necessarily my fault. Punishment did not create a sensitive conscience in me. It created an awareness that I was sometimes right when the authorities said I was wrong and therefore I was just as good or better than they. It also made me take risks that I would not normally take, since I am bound to be kicked around for doing whatever I do, whether it is risky or not.

 

I believed I was a good person as a child, in spite of receiving too many punshments, which made me rise above them and go on doing what I thought was right in spite of anything.

[hug]

While I was growing up, I was lucky in that the punishment (consequences) always fit the violation and, if anything, was gentle. And, it was always delivered in a context of love, because I felt (and still feel) that my parents love me. There's a great book essentially about "tough love", if you want to call it that, called "Parenting With Love and Logic", or something like that.

 

That said, I do suggest clarifying the poll question.

 

I do have some experience within my family where a married woman had a long affair with her brother-in-law, i.e., with her sister-in-law's husband. That made a pretty mixed-up mess of many things. That's an example of rule-breaking within a family, and (based on my experience) it would take a highly experienced psychiatrist to "figure out" the two parties involved.

[Guest chendoh]

When I first thought of this for a poll, I wanted to find out if any Hypographers had been punished for breaking the rules, as long as they still lived under their parents roof.

 

It could be corpral or just a time out.

 

corpral punishment, i.e. the laying on of hands or an instrument used to apply the 'lesson'?....or

a more psychological, non physical approach, such as a time out,

 

My Mom's favorite was kneeling, because she would always hurt herself when she hit one of her sons, or break the wooden spatula.

 

Either case will speak volumes about your present demeanor:

 

Did you gain or lose respect for your parents or guardian, when punishment was applied. = Yes, gained

Yes, lost

 

Did you gain or lose respect for your parents or guardian, when punishment was not applied. = No, gained

No, lost

 

As it stands now, the poll is missing this additional structure, and can not be changed, but one can add comments in their post. If they wish.

 

Myself, I would have to say, Yes I gained...

:note:r-e-s-p-e-c-t....:note2:sockittome, sockittome, sockittome:note2:

For any of you Aretha Franklin fans