TP Humor, Poems, Prose & Wit

[erich]

HUMOR, POEMS, PROSE & WIT

 

 

The Terra Preta Prayer

 

Our Carbon who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name

By kingdom come, thy will be done, IN the Earth to make it Heaven.

It will give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our atmospheric trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against the Kyoto protocols

And lead us not into fossil fuel temptation, but diliver us from it's evil

low as we walk through the valley of the shadow of Global Warming,

I will feel no evil, your Bio-fuels and fertile microbes will comfort me,

For thine is the fungal kingdom,

and the microbe power,

and the Sequestration Glory,

For ever and ever (well at least 2000 years)

AMEN

 

 

 

Climate Change

 

Climate change is a serious event,

We cannot say it is heaven sent,

Though in the sky the heat's contained,

Our actions are the ones to blame,

The carbon fuels we daily burn,

We really don't have much concern,

"It's just so little and the world is so big",

We don't care a feather or a fig,

But slowly like the hare and tortoise,

The heat creeps up and rigor mortis,

Sets in to our continuing wasteful ways,

We don't even notice the gathering haze,

The rising waters, the deserts expand,

The violent winds, the useless lands,

A mockery we have made of our Earth,

But the joke is on us, for all it is worth.

 

[email protected]

 

 

 

 

More Coal & Oil...........MORE Soil !

 

 

 

Wee Beasties : short hand for all the bugs, worms, microbes and fungus

[Michaelangelica]

Erich's wonderful poem/riddle is everywhere on the net but here

 

Consider the following riddle:

 

I am renewable;

I am a chemical element;

as a fuel I am often less expensive ($/GJ) than natural gas;

my energy density (GJ/m3) can exceed that of ethanol or LPG;

and my combustion does not add to the CO2 in the atmosphere;

I am easily stored and safe to transport;

I clean the water you drink and the air you breathe;

Plants grow best in soils that are enriched with me;

I am a key ingredient in the production of semiconductors;

When eaten I settle an upset stomach and clean the intestines; and

No one is afraid of me!

What am I?

 

:)

 

"We want ours to burn good and slow," said Young Billy.

"If he burns fast he leaves nowt but ash.

The slower the fire the better the charcoal".

Susan was watching carefully.

"Why doesn't it go out?" she asked.

"Got too good a hold," said Young Billy.

"Once he's got a good hold you can cover a fire up and the better you cover him the hotter he is and the slower he burns.

But if you let him have plenty of air there's no holding him."

Arthur Ransome, "Swallows & Amazons", 1930.

seen at:

The page you are looking for has not been found - University of Reading)

;)

 

“A number of his paintings are made with charcoal. Kiefer shows not just destructive forces, but rejuvenation. The landscape is ravaged, but it will one day become very fertile.”

 

Anik Fournier

 

 

On indigenous burning i am discovering many other native peoples used fire other than Australian Aborigines But Yourkshiremen?

I am a "Who-dun-it" fan and love quirky detectives. I am currently delighting in Nicholas Rhea's delightful D.I. Montague Pluke He is an expert on horse troughs and local folklore. (Yes I know only in an English/UK book could you get this)

In the first few pages of "Prize Murder' we came across a body in a burnt field.

Just before this we get a little history of Yorkshire Moors. Pluke is talking to his long suffering wife, Millicent.I hope you find this quirky bit of information as interesting as I did.

Quote:

"'A whole area of heather has been burnt away'

'It's a swidden, sometimes called a swizzen.' Pluke aired his knowledge.

'It's a result of controlled burning. It's done every year, often in march before the grouse start their nesting. The landowner burns off about a sixth of a given area of heather, then the following year it will be the turn of another sixth and so on, so that over a period of years, the entire mooreland is burnt.'

'Goodness! But why?'

'It destroys the old heather, clears and refreshes the ground and encourages new growth. New shoots of heather grow quickly and they're stronger and healthier than the old; the new shoots are needed to feed the grouse too, and in former times local people would remove the turf after the burning and use it for domestic fires.'

'So turf is not the same as peat? I know a lot of mooreland farms had peat fires,' said Millicent.

'That's right but they had turf fires too. turf burns more slowly and gives out a lot of heat with a very pleasant scent. The thick heather stems which survived the flames were collected for kindling to light home fires.Those stubby stalks were called cowls, they were collected in big bundles called boddins, the local way of saying burdens. Boddins o' cowls, as the local people called them.

The whole exercise of controlled burning was, and still is, a necessary, useful and very effective means of maintaining the moors.'"

P 14 -15

[Turtle]

Turtle: Hey Mom; did you hear about the new terra preta enthusiast who used a fired-clay brick to hammer their charcoal into bits?

 

Mother Nature: No Turtle; how'd that work out?

 

Turtle: Well, it broke up the charcoal just fine, but the enthusiast got some bad cuts on the hands trying to pick out the clay shards.

:hihi: :shrug:

[Michaelangelica]

Perhaps we do need a thread for alternative/other/unusual uses of charcoal

BUT

I thought I'd put this one here.

There could be some major environmental benefits. A similar invention for cows?

Ananova - Fartypants launched

[freeztar]

 

If only they could attenuate the noise as well, then my girlfriend would probably quickly become a paying customer.

 

What did the little char say to the larger char?

My surface area is bigger than yours!

 

How do you make soil dirtier?

Char it!

How do you make soil clean?

Char it!

 

If things ain't good...in your char bustin' world....

Who ya gonna call?

"CHAR BUSTERS!!!"

 

AgriChar...better than spam.

 

Did you hear about the log that went to jail?

It got Char-ged with bioterrarism.

 

[mjodvis]

New source of biochar:

After explaining to my wife, over supper one evening, the wonders of Terra Preta and my goal of slowly adding charcoal to our garden, she kindly suggested that the quickest way for me to generate a large supply of charcoal was for me to continue cooking our meals.

[erich]

Hi All;

 

Here's an image of a wood sculpture sent to me by Jerard Pearson, a crop/compost artist who is planning a large scale charcoal / Chalk piece of field art at the state fair grounds near Omaha. He has been trying to buy Char from T. Beer at Kingsford, but getting no response. He plans to use a hydro-seeder with a mixture of Char and cellulose mulch as a wet "air brush" to paint the field. I hope it will draw some media attention for TP soils.

 

This wood sculpture, in my mind, conjures up inoculant spores carried aboard the "char delivery vehicle" beginning the process of sending out hyphae. Gorgeous.

 

Check out the other wood sculptures by this Frenchman dude. Pretty cool.

 

THE VILLAGE : Alain Mailland's recent work

 

 

 

 

 

Erich J. Knight

Shenandoah Gardens

1047 Dave Berry Rd.

McGaheysville, VA. 22840

(540) 289-9750

[email protected]

[Michaelangelica]

The Charcoal-Seller

 

Po Chü-i is famous for the simplicity of his language and his sympathy with the oppressed, as in this poem depicting the sufferings of a charcoal-vendor exploited by arrogant aristocrats.

 

An old charcoal seller

Cutting wood and burning charcoal in the forest of the Southern Mountain.

His face, stained with dust and ashes, has turned to the color of smoke.

The hair on his temples is streaked with gray: his ten fingers are black.

The money he gets by selling charcoal, how far does it go?

It is just enough to clothe his limbs and put food in his mouth.

Although, alas, the coat on his back is a coat without lining,

He hopes for the coming of cold weather, to send up the price of coal!

Last night, outside the city,--a whole foot of snow;

At dawn he drives the charcoal wagon along the frozen ruts.

Oxen,--weary; man,--hungry: the sun, already high;

Outside the Gate, to the south of the Market, at last they stop in the mud.

Suddenly, a pair of prancing horsemen. Who can it be coming?

A public official in a yellow coat and a boy in a white shirt.

In their hands they hold a written warrant: on their tongues--the words of an order;

They turn back the wagon and curse the oxen, leading them off to the north.

A whole wagon of charcoal,

More than a thousand pieces!

If officials choose to take it away, the woodman may not complain.

Half a piece of red silk and a single yard of damask,

The Courtiers have tied to the oxen's collar, as the price of a wagon of coal!

 

 

Home > East Asia >

 

Poetry: The elderly charcoal seller

Wen Sige

11/15/2005

 

The Elderly Charcoal Seller

By Bai Juyi

 

Cutting wood and burning charcoal in the forests of the Southern Mountain.

 

His face, stained with dust and ashes, has turned to the color of smoke.

 

The hair on his temples is streaked with gray: his ten fingers are black.

 

The money he gets by selling charcoal, how far does it go?

 

It is just enough to clothe his limbs and put food in his mouth.

 

Although, alas, the coat on his back is a coat without lining,

 

He hopes for the coming of cold weather, to send up the price of charcoal!

 

Last night, outside the city, a whole foot of snow;

 

At dawn he drives the charcoal wagon along the frozen ruts.

 

Ox was weary; man was hungry; the sun was already high;

 

Outside the Gate, to the south of the Market, at last they stop in the mud.

 

Suddenly, a pair of prancing horsemen. Who can be coming?

 

A public official in a yellow coat and a boy in a white shirt.

 

In their hands they hold a written warrant: on their tongues, the words of an order;

 

They turn back the wagon and curse the ox, leading them off to the north.

 

A whole wagon of charcoal,

 

More than a thousand catties!

 

If officials choose to take it away, the charcoal seller may not complain.

 

Half a piece of red silk and a single yard of damask,

 

The Courtiers have passed over the ox’s head, as the price of a wagon of charcoal!

 

 

About Bai Juyi

 

Bai Juyi, also known as Bai Letian, was a renowned poet during the Tang Dynasty. He lived from 772 to 846 AD. The less educated people at that time could easily understand the language used in his poems, with their explicit themes. The poems flowed so smoothly and his poetic style was so unique that it became a literary form commonly known as Fundamentally Plain Form.

 

Bai Juyi excelled in different forms of poetry, especially narrative and lengthy poems. Among his best works are: “Song of Eternal Sorrow”, which is a long poem describing the rise and downfall of the famed beauty Royal Concubine Yang Yuhuan and “Song of the Pipa Player” about a pear-shaped Chinese lute. Throughout the ages, poetry critics have eulogized “Song of Eternal Sorrow” as an extremely beautiful poem.

 

 

An Explanation of the Words

 

During the mid-Tang Dynasty, eunuchs s

 

 

Association for Asia Research- Poetry: The elderly charcoal seller

 

 

ALSO THIS???

 

 

Charcoal Grey Above Lyrics

Artist(Band):Spill Canvas

Review The Song (0)

Print the Lyrics

SPILL CANVAS - CHARCOAL GREY ABOVE LYRICS

 

 

and

The Charcoal man?

http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=1&res=9D04E6D7103FE432A25753C3A9679C946095D6CF&oref=slogin

The Baldwin Project: Fifty Famous People by James Baldwin

 

[erich]

From D. Hennich

 

haiku

 

Lets give it a name

I say Global Carbon March

Inter our exhaust

 

 

Also Michael chidded me for not posting this idea here at hypo, from the TP list;

 

Subject: Re: [Terrapreta] methane, cowfarts and charcoal in the feedlot & Diapers ;

 

Here's a consumer marketing idea;

Carbon Negative Diapers:

Since they already have water holding polymers, just add charcoal ,( should help with the smell), and use other biodegradable materials. Then just toss on the pre-inoculated diapers as mulch in the garden.

 

Cheers,

Erich

[Michaelangelica]

 

Also Michael chidded me for not posting this idea here at hypo, from the TP list;

 

Subject: Re: [Terrapreta] methane, cowfarts and charcoal in the feedlot & Diapers ;

 

Here's a consumer marketing idea;

Carbon Negative Diapers:

Since they already have water holding polymers, just add charcoal ,( should help with the smell), and use other biodegradable materials. Then just toss on the pre-inoculated diapers as mulch in the garden.

 

Cheers,

Erich

Thankyou brother Erich

Three decades of the rosary on your knees please!

 

I have some research articles on water holding polymers from the Australian Nursery Industry association.

Which basically says they are useless outside a laboratory using distilled water.

Send me you email and I will send you the research

 

FEED BABIES CARBON ? ! :lol:;):lol:;):hihi::lol::)

[erich]

Here is a Char poem from Brian Hayes, He makes cyclone / vortex based eqipment;

DevourX ; Welcome to DevourX

& Voraxial ; ENVIRO VORAXIAL TECHNOLOGY, INC. are his latest efforts

 

 

Nobel Warming

I must say, pip pip, I've seen two distinct responses to recent news our earth might die before we do. One is nuts and the other worried. I cannot decide. Most annoying, others have. Not one of us expected our gas taint our air to kill us. Yet millions rise to cure us, change us, some to lure us to greener things, as if the earth ain't darker dirt and char in dirt might fix it. What fools took us here? These same fools guide us. I've seen two distinct responses to recent news our earth might die before we do. One is nuts and the other worried. I cannot decide. Most annoying, neither have we.

 

http://www.brianhayes.com/2008/03/nobel-warming.html

[erich]

Phillip Small is a hoot .........check out his Terra Rap "soil-underground" at transectpoints;

 

"Might we be to serious about charcoal... "ya know, that's some kind of (microbe) hotel... with dinning services and a little fungy catering on the side". Will the kids get onto it?-------As ever...

 

Psst... some of the lyrics below video screen"

 

 

 

transect points: Video: The Soil Underground

[Ahmabeliever]

I like to write poems, the rhyming ones most

I make them satirical, and read them at toasts

Poems about mates who are there to be wedded

Poems for ladies I wish to be bedded

Graduation gaffs and promotional prose

It's hard to be funny in eulogies though...

 

Now I shall try to lampoon Terra Preta

Does it rhyme with feeder or is the rhyme beta

If charcoals the answer to Heaven on Earth

Would Hell hold the best of the best of all dirts?

There's so many dead they must have lots of workers

(Though bad folks are known to be shiftless and shirkers)

We'll offer reprieve for a truckload of coals

Come save the planet - in exchange your lost souls.

 

3 posts.... Bwahahaha!

[Turtle]

A Tortuga Jorge Kartoon

[Michaelangelica]

Stephen Joseph (founder of BEST energies) is a drummer as some of you would know.

He has written a song about TP

I hope this link gives it to you

TheBiocharBlues.mp3

4349K Scan and download

 

All

 

I am working at Pendle Hill Quaker centre on the Biochar Book that Johannes Lehmann and I are editing. However have had time off to do other activities.

 

Attached is a song I wrote with a group of people at a song writing workshop "The biochar blues". Our leader was David Roth a really well known singer song writer.

 

Roia Rafieyan, the singer, was part of our group. She has Iranian and American parents and is a music therapist. She has lots of soul.

 

I am not sure we will make the top 40 but I hope it gets the message across.

 

Feel free to offer new verses and use where you think appropriate.

 

Regards

Stephen

[erich]

A Visit From Saint Sustainability

 

'Tis the night before Christmas

and all through the soils

many creatures are stirring

to lessen our toils.

 

With Vilsack in our stockings and Salazar in our caps,

We can all settle in for a short Christmas nap...

 

For planting comes early

and we need time enough

for our charcoal to settle

in microbes and duff

 

Kyoto will be calling

for carbon to the earth

which will leave us all smiling

full of great mirth

 

Then from the compost

there came such a clatter

I arouse with my spade fork

to organic matter!

 

The wee-beasties were popping

in asexual love

the hyphae were shedding

Glomalin gloves

the nematodes writhing

in a holiday feast

a cornucopia for all

from mighty to least

 

So all the pyrolysis

should scale up, but quick!

to make the Earth jolly

just like Saint Nick!

 

 

 

Thanks to all of you for this important work

Erich

[Michaelangelica]

What has been is what will be,

and what has been done is what will be done;

there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there a thing of which it is said,

“See, this is new”?

It has already been,

in the ages before us.

The people of long ago are not remembered,

nor will there be any remembrance

of people yet to come

by those who come after them.

Ecclesiastes 1 : 2–11.

urticator.net - Nothing New Under the Sun