IrishEyes Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 nemo bought a book a few months ago, and I recently started reading it. It's called "The Lost art of Listening; How learning to listen can improve relationships", by Michael P. Nichols, PhD. If you have any communication problems with family members, employees/employers, friends, etc. this book is worth the read. The author talks about how listening is vitally important to every person, and how not being listened to can cause some serious issues. I think we've all dealt with this on some level, feeling like people don't care because they don't listen. This book goes over some basic ways to become a better, more effective listener, and why that is important. It gets a bit into psychology, explaining how feeling that you aren't listened to can lead to certain feelings. It also discusses some of the reasons why people jsut don't listen to each other anymore. It was well worth the read, but it did have one negative. At one point, I was so engrossed in what I was reading that I tuned out the kids. Now how's that for effective listening skills? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niviene Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 Huh? Did you say something? :) Maybe I do need that book... Sorry, I had to do that! It actually does sound very interesting, and I bet I am one that could really benefit from the read. I have trouble communicating with my father and also a half sister (obviously we have communication problems since we have not spoken a word to one another in over a year, despite my many attempts - but I do not place the blame on her, I just don't know what to say at this point!!). I've been accused many times of the good old phrase, "you only hear what you want to hear!" I don't know how often most people hear this, but I seem to have received a disproportionately large serving of it; thanks for the recommendation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infamous Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 I've been accused many times of the good old phrase, "you only hear what you want to hear!" QUOTE] Maybe the one speaking is just illequipped to present their views in a coherent manner? Every time we have shared our thoughts here at Hypography, your understanding has been quite sharp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nkt Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 I've been accused many times of the good old phrase, "you only hear what you want to hear!" Maybe the one speaking is just illequipped to present their views in a coherent manner? Every time we have shared our thoughts here at Hypography, your understanding has been quite sharp.It could be that niv is one of those people who is very visual, and so takes in what is written far better than what is said. People talk at their own pace, and sometimes that's too slow, sometimes that's too fast. Reading takes place at exactly the speed the reader wants it to. niv, try email! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niviene Posted July 16, 2005 Report Share Posted July 16, 2005 I also have a tendency to know what's coming before it's said, and that has made some people feel like I'm not listening to them. To compensate, I sometimes have to pretend to be surprised. This can sometimes make communication seem a little akward. nkt - yes! Email seems to be the solution to this... sometimes the most difficult things for me to say I have said in emails, and some people think that's inappropriate, but people who know me seem to get it. I love to be a confident, I love to listen and either advise or just have a spare arm for a lonely shoulder, but I don't like when people feel uncomfortable because of the way that I listen and respond... Anyway, I do look forward to reading this book. :) I'm always open for suggestions in this department.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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