Zach Neptune

What an excellent thread! It really illustrates that good people of conscience can see the same facts and reach totally opposite conclusions – and that intelligence is meaningless when dealing with emotional issues. I’ll try to be concise. • Bullying and “social hierarchies” are common in the animal kingdom. Like it or not, its programmed into human nature. No amount of anti-bully policies, anti-bully legislation, or anti-bully rallies will alter that. • School sponsored anti-bully programs do not work. Every major meta-analysis reveals no discernable positive effect, and sometimes they make the situation worse. • Pacifism and acquiescence are preached by people who abdicate their own duty of self-defense and demand that other people must protect them. These are cowardly philosophies that do not work in the real world. • There IS a distinction between unprovoked aggression and self-defense. • “Force” is a tool. The misuse of a tool is not an argument against its proper use. • “Hope” and “Luck” are not a plan of action. “I’ve been lucky so far, I hope nothing bad happens to me” is wishful thinking at its worst. • Bullies choose their targets based on a number of subtle signals. If the target ‘broadcasts’ different signals, a bully picks a different target. • It’s a PARENTS responsibility to prepare their kid to face the world and its challenges. It’s not the job of cops, teachers, administrators or politicians. I’d like to recommend an excellent learn-at-home program for parents and children age 5-12. It worked for our family, and it gets my strongest endorsement. The Total Bully Solution is an interdisciplinary, 3-phase approach that deals with everything from teasing to intimidation to rumors to outright violence. Adam Blum, the guy that created the system, has an amazing track record of success. He really cares. Bottom line- Wishing doesn’t make reality change – yes it would be nice if every day was filled with sunshine and balloons and birthday cake and puppy kisses. And if you wait for someone else to fix your child’s bullying nightmare, your child will continue to suffer.