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Does what you remember influence your outlook?


Doctordick

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I have a question to ask. My wife and I are proceeding (quite rapidly) into old age and both of us have noticed a surprising correlation in our memories. We quite often watch movies on TV, many of which we have seen before (that happens when you get old). The fact is that we often do not remember having seen a particular movie when we dislike the movie. Usually, we realize that we have seen the particular movie late in the presentation; very much consistent with the observation that we are not going to like how this is going to turn out. This has lead us to the idea that we must be forgetting unhappy experiences. I am curious as to whether or not others have perceived such a correlation. It certainly might explain why we are so happy with our lives. Actually, we seem to be much happier then most of the people we know. Is this little more than forgetting unhappy experiences?

 

Just an observation -- Dick

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we do forget the little unpleasant things in our life. our minds dont usually hold onto these memories, im sure there in there somewhere but its not something we consider important enough or painful enough to remember.

im NO psychologist, but is this the generally accepted idea?

if not i would love to hear what is guys so if anyone.......

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  • 1 year later...
In my old age, memories leave my outlook cynical. As you know Doc, memories is all we humans have to judge anything by in our time no matter long or short. :hal_skeleton: ;) Cue your equation if you have not forgot it. :D
Well, I have to admit that I and my wife are also quite cynical when it comes to what we know of the world; however, we are also quite happy with our own lives and where we have arrived (by dint of our reasoned responses to our circumstances). In fact, both of us often say that, given the opportunity to change any of our decisions, we would not do so because such a change might have led us to circumstance different than where we find ourselves. I commented to my wife tonight that “star crossed lovers” must feel the same about the issue or they are not “star crossed lovers”. She laughed and said I was right on the money. By the way, I think we are “star crossed lovers”.

 

What I am really talking about here are those movies where the characters make stupid decisions which lead to unhappy results. Neither of us have any interest in watching such movies. Movies are supposed to be entertainment and we like to be entertained. We both like nice endings much more than unhappy results. What I was really trying to bring up is the issue of happiness itself. Do happy people have a tendency to forget unhappy events? I am certainly convinced that we do. If that is actually all it takes to be happy; it is a very profound statement about the lives of happy people. :rip:

 

I was just looking for a little discussion of the idea because I am a very curious person. My equation certainly doesn't require one to forget unhappy experiences. :D

 

Have fun -- Dick

 

PS Perhaps I misstated the title. I should have said, Does your outlook influence what you remember?

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Ignorance is bliss, eh, Binghi?

I find the more knowledge I digest, the happier I am.

I love the challenge of finding out the how and why.

As far as unhappy memories go, they can either be dealt with or buried. I wonder Dr Dick, had you effectively dealt with and filed those unhappy thoughts in the far reaches of your brains storage system, only to be retrieved as needed for any new situation that arises.I had some unhappy, even traumatic experiences in childhood.I only pull out the memories as needed. For example, an attempt was made to abduct me when I was nine years old.Three months of nightmares followed. My mother was highly effective with giving me the tools to get past the incident.I put it all behind me. When my oldest son, was approached in the same manner, I immediately recalled the information.The adrenaline pumping at that moment, elevated me to the status of a mother lion, capable of shredding and mauling.After the incident, I, like my mother, ensured that no unresolved psychological problems were remaining for my son.Eight years after the fact, he has shown no signs of residual effects. He has developed a strong protective view over his younger brother, and of course will carry this into his own children, when he becomes a parent.

My memories have been filed.Today, I am happy.

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... What I was really trying to bring up is the issue of happiness itself. Do happy people have a tendency to forget unhappy events? I am certainly convinced that we do. If that is actually all it takes to be happy; it is a very profound statement about the lives of happy people. :hihi:

 

I was just looking for a little discussion of the idea because I am a very curious person. My equation certainly doesn't require one to forget unhappy experiences. :hihi:

 

Have fun -- Dick

 

I'm more of an expert on unhappiness, which if I discuss only engenders more, so nuff said. :shrug: :lol: I have no idea how it all works, but I'm happy enough just to have not waked up dead this morning. I did however snatch a vicarious bit of happitudinality to hear that you two love-birds are...well...love birds. :eek: :eek_big: :eek:

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  • 1 month later...
..we seem to be much happier then most of the people we know. Is this little more than forgetting unhappy experiences?
I think being happy is a sense of life that derives from the dialectic interplay of two aspects of contemplative activity (1) not forgetting happy experiences and (2) forgetting unhappy experiences. So I think you have identified 1/2 of the equation of happiness as relates to what humans remember. My hypothesis is that greater happiness comes to those that apply both reason and science at a high level of effort to form their outlook or worldview of life. Here I refer to folks that are not clinically depressed, the cause of their unhappiness is physical-chemical imbalance in the brain, not how they apply reason and science. Thus I think it is no accident DD that you seem to be much happier than most people you know--most "normal" people you know do not live day-day thinking at the level you do about the interplay of reason and science. They are happy to a degree, but not to your degree. I do not, of course, know your wife, but I will predict that reason and science guide her sense-of-life also, and thus helps explain why the two of you grow in happiness together over time. Cordially, Rade.
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