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Hypography in 2075


Queso

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No problem, T.

 

By 2025 you'll be able to upload your entire mind into Microsoft's MindServer2025. One problem is that you'll have to leave your body behind, which will be burnt in a huge thermal powerplant to power said server. The reason for having to leave your body is that Microsoft wouldn't want two versions of the same intelligence existing, where the one inside the server can inform the one on the outside of all the loopholes to be exploited by malicious mind-donors.

 

In 2026 the server is expected to grind to a halt because of registry growth, where all the human bodies in the world aren't enough to power the electrical needs of this enormous registry. Microsoft will ungracefully shut the server down (i.e. crash the bastard), and will tell the world (all the next of kin wondering why they can't chat to their beloveds on their hand-held MindPilot2025's anymore) that all the 404 errors received is a mass-practical joke by all the individual minds on MindServer2025.

 

They will insist that this is the case up until 2045, when the last EnviroWhiner is hunted down and killed, enabling the rebirth of the nuclear power industry. When, as a stress-test on all the nuclear power stations in the world, they decide to switch MindServer2025 back on again, all the lights on Earth dim by 80%. But its running. You will wake up not knowing that 20 years have passed, because Microsoft never reset the computer clock on the server. You will also wonder why three-quarters of your memory is gone (there was a malfunction with the backup device which ran Microsoft Eternally Consistent, Trusty and Dependable Backup 2025 - the problem was that the last backup was made in 2026 just before the MindServer crashed, but support for it was terminated in 2028. The last technician who knew how it worked committed suicide in early 2032 because of not getting paid for overtime, this being besides the fact that he was also an 'offshore' IT employee in the Third World and was busy starving of AIDS, malnutrition, typhoid fever, malaria and tuberculosis at the same time).

But 75% of your memory being gone won't bug you, seeing as you don't know that you've had it. You will talk extremely slowly because of your inflated registry for which Microsoft still doesn't have an answer. But you'll see the light of day again. That is, until the web cam explodes due to a power surge.

 

In any case - you'll be able to run Hypography again, and you'll still think its 2026.

 

You'll be able to run Hypography until either all the enriched uranium on Earth is consumed, or until MS MindServer2025 crashes again. (They tried migrating the MindBase to MindServer2045, but there was version compatability issues that made it impossible). So maybe you won't be around for too long after 2045, but hey - Microsoft did say it would work, and they did say that they'll have the bugs sorted out by at least 2342.

 

Good luck, though.

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:cocktail: Stuck forever at 56 years old!!!

 

Surely by then there will be a MindStore Linux!

One can only hope - but chances are that by 2015, Microsoft have bought copyright to the letters L,i,n,u and x. All keyboards manufactured after 2015 will have a little © after these five letters, and pressing of said buttons will result in you being billed for it. You can, however, purchase the 'Professional' keyboard, where these letters are ommitted altogether.

By 2020, Microsoft will have successfully purchased the patent rights, copyright and trademark rights to the English language. They will promptly edit all words containing these letters, and add the year to the end of every sentence. In other words, I've got another 14 years to say "Hello, my name is Boerseun". After 2020, I'll have to say "Heo, my ame s Boerse2020".

 

Linux will, of course, go underground. But they will be chased to the ends of the planet by a vindictive Microsoft Management 2020, and the language sufficiently adapted to this strategy that by 2030 the English language would consist of a single comma.

 

I wish you all the best...

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  • 14 years later...

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