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Fortunately...Unfortunately...


freeztar

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when last we left Keith, half a shot down, alien pal in tow, heading towards the west side, he was reminded of that little side job he had done at the uranium plant.Hmmmnn, he thought"i wonder if my paramagnetic abilities may help me in finding Pamela?" So he pulled off the road, tossed the alien, you know his back was killing him by now, and proceeded to put him self in a transcendental meditative state.How useful he thought, good damn thing i learned at that world renowned psychologist's knee ,Michael Mooney.

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time has just reverted exactly 1 1/2 hours ago, when keiths pal the alien,and time travelling kinda guy, although snubbed, painstakingly had to reverse the future and save the earth from the texas sized asteroid.Unknown to all, it had been driven off its course by yet another evil villian, Larv, master of kentucky bourbon and quite fond of moonshine elixir as well

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Unfortunately, a Texas-size asteroid hit Pamela's garage and erased all traces of biological life in the upper biosphere. Fortunately, the deep hot biosphere survived, but it will take another three billion years before the upper biosphere is re-seeded and sufficiently re-evolved so that this story can continue.

Fortunately, Keith had built a fallout shelter in 1959 on a vacant piece of land just outside of the suburbs. By keeping up with astronomy, a small group was able to escape the asteroid's ravage by identifying the threat long before it was announced to the public.

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Fortunately, Keith had built a fallout shelter in 1959 on a vacant piece of land just outside of the suburbs. By keeping up with astronomy, a small group was able to escape the asteroid's ravage by identifying the threat long before it was announced to the public.

Unfortunately, Keith built his fallout shelter on a piece of land owned by a coven of lesbian witches who kept eunuchs as slaves. They took it away from Keith and his family and cast them out into the lethal landscape, where they died. Now, this severe bottlenecking left no hope for repopulating planet Earth with bumans. As such, the head wiccan announced with detectable anxiety: “All you wicci-bitches and ball-less dweebs had better come up with a plan. Anybody know anything about cloning?”

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Fortunately the universe is ruled by a benevolent deity who came into power in a rigged election. He looks down on the recently pulverized planet and takes pity. With a few simple keystrokes he puts the breath of life back into the victims of the asteroid, and inexplicably turns the oceans into tequila.

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Unfortunately, Keith built his fallout shelter on a piece of land owned by a coven of lesbian witches who kept eunuchs as slaves. They took it away from Keith and his family and cast them out into the lethal landscape, where they died. Now, this severe bottlenecking left no hope for repopulating planet Earth with bumans. As such, the head wiccan announced with detectable anxiety: “All you wicci-bitches and ball-less dweebs had better come up with a plan. Anybody know anything about cloning?”

 

(Wow, ok ;) )

 

Fortunately, Keith had left some cloning blueprints for the Wiccan Sisterhood.

They were able to use the basement lab to start their cloning procedures.

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(Wow, ok ;) )

 

Fortunately, Keith had left some cloning blueprints for the Wiccan Sisterhood.

They were able to use the basement lab to start their cloning procedures.

Unfortunately, with the worlds water supply turned to tequila the cloning process didn't happen exactly as planned. The clones have some interesting... "features".

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fortunately for the clones, whose features, yes of course would match those of the most beautiful villain Pamela, were able to successfully adapt, as they too had her passion for tequila.Eagerly and with that intense meditative state, ( cause ya know Pamela, being quite fond of Mr Mooney), were able to make a conscious connection with their matriarch, Pamela. Meanwhile, Larv, while swilling some elixir, tapped in and thought he would give her a visit as well.Together now and clone army in tow, they left for Nibiru, with the now priceless petrone. Keith on the other hand, having doused himself in the ocean, was not too thrilled at the pepe lopez quality but unfortunately........

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Fortunately, Michael Mooney, aka mik-I-el, the Enlightened One is not only the master of meditation and telepathic communication, he is also one with god and, as Creator, He resets the whole scenario to an alternate reality where everyone is enlightened regardless of manufactured status as clones of the beautiful villain Pamela or of their addiction to tequila and other mind altering substances, and , needles to say, restored all those who died to a life of joyful inebriation and very trippy and permanent epiphany... which awakened them to the realm beyond all such vices.

 

The Enlightened One... aka God as/in "this one.";)

 

(Whether or not this is the end of the story, it is the end of my pseudo-sermon!) M

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Pamela with her powers of persuasion and red lipstick and that uncanny ability to hypnotize any and all at will(yes, even on paper or type;) ),was able to convince Michael, of the alluring power of the Petrone and thus all were free to indulge.Meanwhile, Larv had gone on an elixir binge, as he wasnt in this Space and Time, and well Keith unfortunately........

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In his former life, before the asteroid struck, Larv was urgently interested in copulating with Pamela, who was quite beautiful and had magic powers, as is true for any sex goddess. But when the asteroid hit and caused his metamorphosis he lost his ability to copulate in his larval stage and became a cosmic butterfly. Now, everyone knows that cosmic butterflies are worse than sex fiends, and the metamorphosed Larv is no exception. He goes in search of his long-sought object of lust, the quite beautiful Pamela. Unfortunately, she seems to be romantically involved with Michael, who hasn’t metamorphosed into anything important. Thus, fluttering in on her pheromone beam, he lands delicately on her earlobe and prepares to go find her eggs and fertilize them.

 

Meanwhile, Michael is down at the corner space bar, hitting on a chick from the Vulcan province of Globinky. He seems to have forgotten all about the beautiful Pamela, leaving her virtually in a spread-eagle position for Larv’s affections.

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Fortunately Moontanman arrives in his Star Ship and beams down in the nick time to come to Pamela's rescue, he uses his four hooves to stomp the evil butterfly Larv into dust and sweeps the beautiful Pamela up on his back and gallops to her stash of Petrone and beams himself, Pamela, and all her tequila on board his Star Ship and warps out to a galaxy far far away! Leaving Larv destroyed forever and Michael in drunken tryst with the Vulcan chick :evil:

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unfortunately, Pamela , who now in despair for Larv, brushed her lips against moontanmans cheeks and said farewell, to go in search of Michael.Upon finding him, and for obvious reasons had to kill some time, she opted for a swig of petrone out of her flask.He presently emerged from the back seat of the volkswagon van, and listened to Pamela's pleas.Now Michael, being filled with that universal love, was greatly moved by pamela's words.He left hurriedly to resurrect Larv.Having been in the presence of Michael, something strange began to occur in Pamela's heart.She almost felt guilty about snatching Keiths tequila.This simply wont do, she thought.And went in search of keith.

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