Once average kids begin to notice what a cheap shot it is, what a minor even non-achievment it is, it begins to take away the bully's motivation ie. recognition, fear, and respect.
Once an individual shows that this is not sufficient deterrent it should be taught that it is all student's duty to report bullies, anonymously at first, to the office so they can be given help since they likely need either therapy, social services (pointing out again the parental connection) or both. This would have the added effect of indirectly threatening a bullying parent and a bullied child is unlikely to risk getting their bullying parent in trouble while also increasing the likelihood of people risking the report since they can see it is helpful rather than punitive (breaks the raison d'etre for the No Rat rule).
Oh yeah and reducing if not eliminating special privileges for groups favored because of teacher/administrator bias eg Athletes, one of the groups with inherently high percentages of bullies.
I hope this thread gets lots more attention as it is a serious, but treatable, issue.
Interesting ideas You would need to set up systems
kids to report bullies without fear of repercussions
I was very surprised to hear-recently- from my 28 YO daughter that she was bullied at school. Something she never shared with me; yet we had a very close and open relationship. But i guess there are some things you don't tell parents or or even teachers. I was surprised by how much it still hurt her, and with what bitterness she remembers it. This is even stranger because when she was niggled to breaking point by an anything bully she decked her and got into much trouble about it. She was frightened to tell us about this but had to or the school would have. She was amazed to think that we (mum and dad)thought her reaction was not unreasonable given the escalating provocation and she got support and understanding from us rather than the "big-trouble" she expected.
I wonder if there is some sort of "Victim" psychology
going on here?
It may feel embarrassing or shameful to report that you have been bullied?
Perhaps the environment or social awareness of the problem is lacking?
For example the recent revelations of sexual abuse by Irish ( and most other counties) clergy. Strange that, that report named many victims I think but not the perpetrators.
Interesting that you mention sport. I, and my kids, have never had much sporting endurance. One has severe and dangerous exercise-induced asthma. So they did suffer bulling -once from a sports teacher, who should have known better or have been better trained.- on this. Both are very competent musicians. I find the adoration of sporting figures throughout my society sickening while brilliant musicians, medicos and scientists and others go unnoticed or supported by community resources by the "Great Unwashed Public'. Top Football players here can do no wrong
; although a recent series of sex and drug scandals have dented this support, especially among women. However most just dismiss such barbaric behaviour as group sex (or rape?) as "Boys will be Boys"
Too, girls sport is mostly ignored unless they win an Olympic gold medal. 'Girls' cricket is great to watch and sometimes the women pull out moves that the guys would never think of. (Like hitting the ball with the back
of the bat!-which made the Indian commentator speechless!
You too seem to have an over-developed sense of Natural Justice like me. I hope you are a member of Amnesty. (See my parental reaction to my daughter's being bullied and 'decking' her bullier (sic) above) I am thinking of having mine (O.D.S.O.J.) surgically removed as it gets up the noses of many
Some here (Hypography) think I am a Yank Hater
because I disagree with Yank policies like Guantanamo Bay (and no, you can't send any of them here. You made them crazy as 'cut-snakes' and vengeful -you fix them-Obama asked again this week)
Because I was always tall as a kid (6 foot at 12YO) I was never physically bullied and often 'rescued' smaller kids from bullies (Thinks-Is this why I spent much of my life in "helping" professions?-- still rescuing?
That ended that day, and you know, i ended up becoming best friends with that chick and she bullied no more
Interesting that this often seems to happen after a"punch up" among men too. Especially when there is no clear "looser" (or victim?).
violence begets violence.....
Yes, agreed, sadly. The first thing I think of here is Israel, who have been taught by experts.
It is not what teachers teach, but HOW
they teach it ,that is important.
One of the reasons there is so much flack about the behaviour of top sporting people as many say they are "role models" for young people. Have you ever seen the non-technological aggression, by short necked, bull-like-men, and all out ritual war that is a Rugby Union or League Game? Perhaps men have just outlived their biological use by date (Mozart's Maulers
is a great book on this- very funny)
The Mozart Maulers
The Mozart Maulers is a comic memoir based on Dorian's experiences as a student at the Conservatorium of Music ... Click here to buy The Mozart Maulers book ...
Web Archive Copy: Sports Factor: The Mozart Maulers
Now to a rarely explored lighter side to mental health: the book Mozart Maulers landed on my desk the other day. Described as a fictional autobiography, ...
Dorian Mode: [reading] The Ref turned to me. ‘Heads or tails?’
‘Oh, I’m easy’.
‘No, no, you have to choose’.
‘Oh, um, heads’, I said, shrugging.
The coin fell into the sunlit fingers of grass. We leaned over to find it as if it were a vital fragment of Mesopotamian pottery.
‘Heads it is’, the Ref said, stooping. ‘Which way do you want to run?’
‘The quickest way home’, I said, but it came out as, ‘Oh, I don’t know, you decide.’
‘No, no, you have to choose’, he said, ‘you’re the captain’.
‘Which way would you run?’ Figured he’d know.
‘Er, no-one’s ever asked me before. Well look, the wind’s blowing from the south, so I’d run from left to right for this half, or perhaps you should have the breeze in the second half. But if the wind changes you’ve lost all advantage. No, no, run with the breeze while you have it, you never know, it could change in the second half.’
‘Are you expecting late wind?’
The Uni captain stood grinding his teeth.
‘I’d run from left to right’, the kindly official said.
‘Sounds cool’, I said. ‘Cheers’.
‘Does the Conservatorium want to kick off?’
I turned to the Sydney Uni captain who by then had cracked a molar. ‘What would you do if you were me?’
He snatched the ball. ‘We’ll kick off, for Christ’s sake’.