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Electing God


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#69 TheBigDog

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 06:49 PM

When elected I will make Overdog run a cotton candy stand in a world populated by Wasps.

#70 Overdog

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 07:00 PM

When elected I will make Overdog run a cotton candy stand in a world populated by Wasps.


Because ye have said, "When elected I will make Overdog run a cotton candy stand" you have made a covenant with death, and with hell are you at agreement; when the overflowing scourge shall pass through, it shall not come unto us: for you have made lies your refuge, and under falsehood have hid yourself:
And your covenant with death shall not be annulled, and your agreement with hell shall stand; and when the overflowing scourge shall pass through, then ye shall be trodden down by it.

#71 modest

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 10:07 PM

Modest, Ares, whatever you want to call yourself today.



Ares... For I am: “Ares”. You know... all tremble in fear of my name and so on and so forth.... for I am Ares.


Might I remind you mortals, Ares is the god of bloodlust. :hihi:


They will need no reminding when I fertilize the land with the entrails of my enemies.

The supposed son of Zeus,


*Supposed*! The last who questioned my divine delineation was Illyria and you shall now join the Illyrian in oblivion.

Ares is really a rebellious young god still going through puberty.


Yet another outrage! I shall eviscerate you. I shall eviscerate everyone you’ve ever known. Those people who you think you might know - maybe you’ve exchanged pleasantries and they appear familiar but you can’t quire remember their name or where you know them from... I shall eviscerate them too and everyone they know. There’s going to be at least three degrees of evisceration separation when I’m done here.

Ares shall be be cast down, to becometh speech writer of Mephistopheles. If he be lucky.


Mephistopheles bends to my will, for I am...

~ :) Ares :evil:

#72 Moontanman

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 10:53 PM

All of you upstart god wannabees amuse me, when I come into power rest assured I will forgive you your boasts and allow you to enjoy the same befits of youth, health and immortality as everyone else. I forgive all, no one will ever want under my rule, all war and conflict will end, humans will rule the galaxy. All things will become possible and all humans will enjoy the fruits of my universe! Ignore the rantings of these Bush league gods and Vote for me, the god of the people!

#73 Overdog

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 03:07 AM

All of you upstart god wannabees amuse me...


Cursed be he that voteth for any manner of beast. They shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

#74 modest

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 05:38 AM

All of you upstart god wannabees amuse me,


Little known fact - 98 percent of all gods used to work in the supergalactic mailroom only to work their way up to divinity. This is true - I heard Phil Donahue say so. Or, maybe it was Geraldo Rivera... Which one has the mustache? It was the one with the mustache... Tom Selik. No, wait, now I’m just thinking about mustaches. The point is that I heard from a reliable source who wasn’t Tom Selik (but who might have been Magnum P.I.) that 98 percent of all gods worked their way up from the mailroom, and it’s true. I know, for I’m a god.

Personally, I never worked in the mailroom. Sorting paperwork was never really my specialty. I was briefly involved with the department of inter-dimensional transportation where I was a transportation engineer. Some people referred to the position as “delivery boy”, but they were quickly eviscerated so we’ll stick with “transportation engineer”. And, I was good at my job, a real go getter. I liked to invent new and interesting ways to “deliver” the item straight through the torso of the recipient. Ohhh, good times. I remember once delivering a 30 kilo box of paperclips. I took the time to open up each and every paperclip making them into tiny little spears. Took me nearly an hour to “deliver” them all to this poor bloke in accounting.

Needless to say; my diligent work ethic and tireless attention to detail soon paid off. Up the corporate ladder of divinity I went, and look at me now. For I am Ares, a god of war.

no one will ever want under my rule, all war and conflict will end


Under your rule... there will be no want _and_ no war. That doesn’t make any kind of sense at all. It’s a complete contradiction. For I am Ares, and none will want of war in my rule.

~ Ares

#75 Overdog

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 07:14 AM

...Needless to say; my diligent work ethic and tireless attention to detail soon paid off. Up the corporate ladder of divinity I went, and look at me now. For I am Ares, a god of war.


I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.

Thou shalt not bow down to Ares, nor serve him, nor do after his works: but thou shalt utterly ignore him, and break down his images.

Thou shalt make no covenant with him, nor with any other gods.

They shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin: for if thou serve these gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee.

Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them; for it shall be, if thou do at all forget, and vote for other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish.

#76 Moontanman

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 07:57 AM

All you poor little upstart juvenile god wannabees will be so much better off when I am god, I'll sooth your hurts and cure your mental problems and heal your need to humiliate and control others. Ares if you insist I'll put you on your own little planet and you can play soldier by yourself all you want little baby boy. I'll give you some androids to play with. When I am in charge of the multiverse there will be no need for wrath or punishment, all will be healed, none will want, all things will come to those who vote for me! anyone who campaigns for me now will get their own pocket universe to rule and guide. In this universe you will be God! Be on my team and win with me!

#77 Overdog

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 08:22 AM

...all things will come to those who vote for me...


And so it shall come, within a furnace of fire, a great wailing and gnashing of teeth. And ye within shall blaspheme Moontanman exceedingly, and utter wicked words.

#78 Moontanman

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 08:30 AM

And so it shall come, within a furnace of fire, a great wailing and gnashing of teeth. And ye within shall blaspheme Moontanman exceedingly, and utter wicked words.


Not when I'm god, there will be no furnace of punishment, no wailing and no sadness or sorrow. Even you overdog will be forgiven and given the the youth, health, and immortality you deserve as a human being. I forgive you over dog.

#79 TheBigDog

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 08:38 AM

And so it shall come, within a furnace of fire, a great wailing and gnashing of teeth. And ye within shall blaspheme Moontanman exceedingly, and utter wicked words.

I think you have this confused with the election for the devil. That is in November in the US.

Bill

#80 Overdog

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 08:46 AM

...I forgive you over dog.


Moontanman sheweth mercy to a man which is like himself: but doth he ask forgiveness of his own sins?

And there be one stiffnecked among the people, it is a marvel if he escape unpunished; thou knowest Moontanman's counsel against me; I forgive not his iniquity, and neither blot out his sin from my sight, but will let him be overthrown before thee; and will deal rightously with him in the time of mine anger.

#81 freeztar

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 11:16 AM

Mephistopheles bends to my will, for I am...

~ :Exclamati Ares :Exclamati


You were dead before the ship even sank.

#82 modest

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 12:25 PM

You were dead before the ship even sank.


A modest mouse reference, perhaps :Exclamati

In all seriousness, I think the current belief in a loving father figure of a God is just as bad as the ancient polytheistic faiths. Either way we are anthropomorphizing our fears and desires onto some divine persona that is really nothing more than a reflection of our own human nature. Is it truly better to favor a current flavor of monotheistic benevolence over Zeus or Osiris? I think it makes little difference in the end. Ares is a reflection of the Spartan culture and "God" is a reflection of current culture. Any comparison between Ares and the "loving Father" is then a comparison of cultures. In both cases the true egregiousness is the fact that nobody is taking responsibility for the civilization we're building, but rather putting it on the shoulders of some fantasy.

So in the end I think voting for Ares is no worse than any other god. I'm sure everyone knew where I was coming from but I thought maybe somebody new to the forum or something would find it a bit odd I was promising "three degrees of evisceration separation"... So, maybe I should explain.

~modest

#83 HydrogenBond

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 03:23 PM

If I am elected God, I will solve all the problems of science. All the answers will be in and science can retire to enjoy a long vacation. After the recess, I will create new laws of science that are fully rational to straighten out the mess created by the incumbent god Chaos. He was the god of gambling and anything goes, including multiple versions of the same laws. Then Chaos will sealed in the pit of fire, like a zoo animal we can visit.

Once the laws of science are all rational, and chaos sealed, I will put a new spirit in the human heart of love and peace. There will no need for war or strife. There will no need for time or space. There is plenty of mass-energy within this current universe, and everyone will have the tools, science, and imagination needed to materialize their own personal paradises.

#84 Donk

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 03:43 PM

If I am elected God, I will solve all the problems of science. All the answers will be in and science can retire to enjoy a long vacation.

Man is a problem-solving animal. Take away the problems and he either has to create more or go insane. Bad move.

Once the laws of science are all rational, and chaos sealed, I will put a new spirit in the human heart of love and peace. There will no need for war or strife. There will no need for time or space. There is plenty of mass-energy within this current universe, and everyone will have the tools, science, and imagination needed to materialize their own personal paradises.

A description of heaven on earth. It sounds unutterably boring - we need a world with challenges!

#85 Moontanman

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Posted 11 August 2008 - 05:39 PM

Man is a problem-solving animal. Take away the problems and he either has to create more or go insane. Bad move.

A description of heaven on earth. It sounds unutterably boring - we need a world with challenges!


Hey donk , help me campagne and I'll give you your own universe to create to your own specs, is that enough of a challenge? Vote for me kids and I'll set you free!